I've been trying to do some self-reflection about myself and my art.
I've realised there's a lot of anxiety in my art; that this anxiety both drives me, and holds me down.
I have anxiety over producing what I perceive is expected of me; it pushes me to produce things, and produce them fast. And as my significant other pointed out, often to people on whom my efforts and kindness are wasted on. I slave away, feeling anxious; for people who don't even appreciate my effort. Or to phantoms I've created; I anxiously create new content to imagined masses, when in reality no one cares.
Anxiety also holds me down. There are things I want to do, explore, try. Things I want to learn; but I'm too afraid of wasting time on content no one is interested in seeing to put time and effort into it. There are times when I think I lie to myself to seem braver and more free from expectations, real or imagined, than I actually am. As all artists, I look at what I do and usually just see the things I la